June 30th

Today...was Madeleine's due date.

River's Bend

Tim and "Peter", the owners' lab...he spent all day with us on Thursday. He walked the trails, swam after us in the river...then would ditch us for the next set of people he found!

A view down the river...it was low but the canoes were still able to go over *most* of it. We hit rocks because I was supposed to be watching for them but mostly looked for fishies.

A "donut" or "bagel" we found, made of swirling river foam!

The view from the deck...tall, straight hickory trees...and you can see the jacuzzi just inside the window too. This IS camping at it's best!

Peter was very into sticks...but seemed to also fancy rocks! He would plunge his head in the river and pull out the exact rock that you threw for him. Then he would drop it on the shore and "pounce" on it with his front paws and bark. His bark was SO LOUD echoing down the river...that in that silence, I thought that they would hear him barking and come to "rescue" us as if it were an episode of Lassie..."Kimmy and Timmy tipped the canoe and fell in the river...come help them!" Peter was awesome, until he jumped INTO the canoe and would not get out!

Vacation!

Madeleine's mom and dad are going HERE for 2 days. No internet, no phone, no tv (not that we have one of those anyway!)...

For Posterity...

We went to the cemetery today to order Madeleine's headstone. It will be light grey granite with the above design sandblasted into it. Had I known that they allow you to somewhat customize the design, I would have been working on this for weeks! Hopefully they'll be able to make the peanut look like a peanut, and not an amorphous blob!

When we visited her grave site, there was just a little rectangle of yellow grass where the temporary marker was...they removed it on Monday while I was still dog paddling back from Arizona. There were also two new "punkin's" in Madeleine's neighborhood. And then I saw the saddest thing I've seen in a long time...a headstone where the child lived almost the exact time and months as Madeline...March through May...and the inscription on the headstone said, "We're so sorry that we didn't know how to take care of you". So very sad, on many levels. Sad because you could see that the parents felt guilty and helpless...but mostly sad because they thought it was only their will in charge of the situation. Hopefully their little peanut will pray for them!

Home...

This picture sums up my trip to Arizona...c'est la vie?! Arrived back in the land of humidity around 9 pm last night...it was a lonnnng *ride* home, so long in fact, that I almost kissed the ground as soon as I jumped out of the car! Thankfully, I had a wonderful welcoming committee ready to dole out hugs as soon as I got there.

The details of the *ride* there and back are quite inconsequential, but the retreat was a great experience. The silence was a favorite part of mine...it really does make you realize that 99% of the time, there really isn't anything that is worthwhile to say! Of course, the first place I had the unfortunate "honor" to end up at was Wal-mart...it was as if someone put a large soup pot over my head and hit it with a metal spoon...

Going on Retreat...

Saturday, I'll be hitting the road for Phoenix AZ for a retreat...and *vacationing* along the way. It's no surprise to me how it all fell in place...but it's notable enough to mention. Most know my obsession with the desert, Arizona more precisely...and how I've been wanting to "run away" as I call it, to the desert.


On Sunday, Tim says..."You should go on a retreat". We looked them up, and they were either NOW...or much later, and all very far away. The next day, I wasn't going to stop at the Filling Station for coffee...but as I got nearer to Cherry St. my hands turned the steering wheel to the north and there I was! Of all people, I run into my godmother and she says, "Want to go on retreat with me in Arizona?!" If a sign could jump up and smack me on the forehead and say, "Here I am, pay attention!"...it was this one.


It happened so fast, it's definitely Madeleine style, don't ya think?! The Peanut does NOT mess around. So, off to the desert I go for an Ignatian retreat...and, after the normal scenic penance which I always must endure to pass into the arid lands of cacti and sage...in Arizona I will be.

I was in a used clothing store in Lawrence a few days back and heard a few girls discussing a road trip and one was complaining about how horrible it is to drive through the desert. "If I have to see one more mile of sand, I'm gonna die!!!" she whined. P'shaw! Raspberries to her, the desert is dry, quiet, lacks strip malls and refuses to sustain or entertain modern human requirements...what's not to love?!


Although I am happy to be going to Arizona, I would trade never seeing the desert again in my life to be holding my sweet Peanut right now. But alas, that's not the plan...

See you in a week.

Peanut's Cemetery

Here lies our Precious Peanut...even though it looks like it says "Mr. Walter". We are going to order her actual headstone this week and are debating on what to have inscribed on it, and which kind to get. Seems like a trivial thing to think about in light of the whole situation, but it is what it is, I guess.

At least the cemetery has a lot of nice trees and shrubs...this one had little white flowers that I just noticed look like tiny babies in footed pajamas! See it? How appropriate since it grows in the children's section of the cemetery.

Tomorrow is our 8 month wedding anniversary...when you've only been married as long as we have, you still go by months! I love you Timmy Bear. And the oddest part...Madeleine's due date isn't even until July...and she's already been born, lived and gone home already...it still baffles me at times.