Happy Birthday Sadie

For those of you not fortunate enough to join Tim and I this afternoon as we walk about in the Plaza and humiliate ourselves in the presence of our bedazzled birthday girl, Sadie...here's a shot of her in her "birthday suit"!

Sadie is 7 years old today...I suppose that's around 50 in dog years. Even though her muzzle is white and her countenance subdued...there's a sweet and bright-eyed puppy inside of her clawing to get out! I actually submitted this photo to cuteoverload.com today...we'll see if she makes the cut!

Sadie + beaded frilly collar = WOOHOO!

What does all of this have to do with Madeleine? Not too much...other than we're obeying the orders we received to be happy for her and celebrate. Life is going on, and even though our sweet Madeleine left us at this hour, 3 weeks ago...there's still a million things to smile about.

Peanuts EVERYWHERE!

Everywhere I turn...peanuts!

This Peanut showed up in a bag of little round cookies that my journal group friends gave to us...these two were fused. Today, I have been cleaning my studio...tossing out junk and organizing piles of magazine images that I've torn out to use in collages. I found a piece of a magazine that said, in large letters..."to be your Peanut".

Yesterday at a thrift store, I bought a "Candy Land" game to make art out of...and have never played the game. It has a character called "Gramma Nut"...and a Peanut patch. Life isn't a bowl of cherries, it's a pile of Peanuts...

Pretty Purple Peanut Plate

What a Peanut! The legume obsession continues...
A couple of us went to the Ceramic Cafe to paint items for fun, and naturally...I had to find a good surface to paint a peanut on...flat, rectangular...perfect! I think I sat there for about 3 hours...I always get my money's worth out of the $7.50 paint time fee.

Not wanting this to be another "Born - Died" item...I decided to just write her name, proclaim how pretty she is...and the date painted (and artist of course!) Maybe it's a sushi plate? Maybe I'll put a wire thingy on it and hang it on the wall? Either way, I love making Peanut art. Just wait until I post pics of my front porch! We got a little crazy with the sidewalk chalk last weekend. :)

Missing Miss Madeleine

*Yawwwwn....*

It seems like a long time since Peanut left...and yet it's only been 16 days. There's been one party and event after another with not much quiet time to actually sit and think about things. Since I have a tendency to actually sit down and think TOO much...it's a good thing that I have this big house that needs a lot of help, and someone that needs me to cook for him and wash his kilts...and that misses Peanut too and needs me just as much as I need him. Plus, I've got a million other projects I've got my head into...rosaries, yard work, art ideas, room renovations...continuing on the baby's room so it will be READY for when the next comes.

I took some time this afternoon to go back through pictures of Madeleine and find a few that I never posted...at least I think I never posted them?! Forgive me if you've seen these before. :) The top picture is a classic Peanut yawn...she always made me yawn if I saw one! And this bottom picture...for some reason, she really looks like my dad to me...I think it's the eye and eyebrow area...and maybe the lack of hair adds to that too! Hee hee...love you dad, love you Peanut!

Another Video...

On this, the two week anniversary of Peanut going to heaven...I wanted to share another short video with you. The poor quality is due to shooting in low light. Her eyes weren't ready for the glaring fluorescents since she was pre-32 weeks at this time.

You can hear the faint murmurings of nurses in the background, as well as her oxygenation monitor going off. The darkness by her mouth is actually a pacifier, which she sucks on then stops to look around a bit. While it was "not advised" to stroke a preemie...I simply could NOT resist those sweet, soft cheeks! She didn't seem to mind either. It was her back and feet that she didn't like stroked...it tickles...she got that from her momma. :)

Enjoy! We love you Peanut!

Peanut in action

This short little video makes it difficult for me to not regret taking more videos of Madeleine! If only I had video of a diaper change...or of a wrestling match with Mr. Tubersons! The 3 tiny clips that I do have of her just show that her progress was so ensuring, I didn't feel I would need video to remember her by. And I still don't, really. But, here is one where she was just swaddled for tummy time and is nomming on a pacifier. Pretty Peanut!

St. Madeleine - hard at work!

As if we didn't know that Peanut is a saint in heaven...as if we didn't know that she was always in a hurry to get things done! She showed up quickly after we got married...she entered into the world quickly, and even though we were given a good 6 weeks to love her and see her flourish...she left the world quickly. She also had a strong grip and when her hand found you, she never let go! She was (and is...) a force to be reckoned with...after all, they told me at the hospital only a few hours after she was born that she was "a willful child, and wanted what she wanted...when she wanted it!"

Ready for Peanut's first miracle?

Friday, the day we buried Peanut, I got the information in the mail on how to donate the hundreds of bottles of breast milk that I had to a milk bank. They screen you, dig up your medical records, send someone out to take blood...then you pack it in dry ice, ship it off to Texas, or Colorado...and God willing the FedEx truck doesn't break down somewhere along the way...the milk goes to a baby who's mother can't make milk for some reason. Sounded like a lot of work, but I was happy to do it.

Saturday, two of our close friends got married and of course we went to their wedding...wouldn't miss it for the world. I mentioned to Tim that I would wait and call the milk bank on Monday. Right after the wedding, I'm standing under a tree outside of church watching everyone and a woman from the parish, a fellow new mom, that I know but have never really talked to comes up to me and says that she has been praying to our little St. Madeleine for help...that her own milk hadn't come in very well and her baby, who was born 4 weeks premature, was allergic to cow's milk, hated his baby formula and was having a really hard time getting nourishment. What?! :O

Now how beautiful is that?! How perfect! There's no way that is coincidental, it's just too...WEIRD...for a lack of a better word! So they came over that day and we packed two giant coolers of baby food up for their little Punkin! Later that night, he had sucked down 3 bottles, his biggest meal...and he was tolerating it just fine. He's a cute little peanut, and it gives me indescribable joy to know that Madeleine and I can help him and his loving family out...she picked him and arranged this, I'm dead certain. Madeleine knew that her mommy was very sad that all that milk she had made for her wasn't ever going to reach her lips, and every time she saw it in the freezer, it poured salt on the wound.

I think that Madeleine should be the patron saint of premature babies! Even though I think in addition to the patron saint of mothers, St. Gerard is already doing the job! And an added hint of goose-bump giving info...the baby who is getting Madeleine's milk...his name is Gerard.

Oh St. Madeleine..., Peanut of Power...pray for us!
And, uh...while you're quickly arranging needed things...how about a 2nd floor bathroom for mommy, huh?!!! :D

No more tubes and wires

*Sigh...*
Well? Unlike the rest of this blog...which has started at a point and moved forward...now it's time to start here and work backwards...for a time. But first, check out my rusty photoshop skills! No more tubes and wires for Peanut! She is free!

Yesterday was a good day. There's nothing anyone can do to "get Peanut back"...so I see no point in being upset about that issue. Of course I'm sad, as sad as ever...we all are...but like Father said yesterday at her mass...Peanut doesn't want us to weep, she wants us to be happy because of her joy, she's in heaven, which is one bit of information we can lean on...unlike the mystery of, "What happened to Peanut?". As for that, I'm not even sure the doctors can tell us *exactly* what happened...that's why they call it medical "practice". BUT...from the outcome of Peanut's surgery she had the day she died, some things are evident. More of that at another time...the last thing I want to do right now is to roll it all through my head yet again, for the hundredth time possibly?!

One thing is clear, God does have mysterious ways...and often we are left standing baffled, as the tornado of events leaves and the dust is still settling on the ground...but I believe that He sent Peanut to us to teach a lesson...many lessons! One of those, after yesterday...coming home from the cemetery to find 50+ people at our house, tons of food set out, flowers, cards, hugs from every direction...that this little tiny girl who was only here for 7 weeks, brought all of us together as one big happy family. It should be like this all the time. So smile and remember that those of us who loved the Peanut, near and far, have a saint in heaven praying for us. Remember how hard she fought here on earth...how much harder will she fight now, for us?!

We love you Peanut!

Peanut's Mass

Madeleine Rose Maria Walter
March 18, 2009 - May 10, 2009

Mass
May 15th at 10 a.m.

St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church (map)
3106 Flora Avenue
Kansas City, MO 64109

Mass followed by burial at North entrance (Children's section)
Resurrection Cemetery, Lenexa, KS
(There will not be a formal procession)
Click here for directions

All are welcome to attend...family, extended family, friends, nurse friends...peanut fans...modest dress requested in the church and ladies, bring a veil, scarf, hat, please and thank you!

Heavenly Peanut

Madeleine Rose Walter left us for a better place around 1 pm today. It was sudden, and very shocking...but the main thing we're focused on is that we know she's happy at home with God. More info to follow.

Resting In Peace...Madeleine Rose