Pray for chunk

The "issue du jour" is...weight gain! Madeleine lost a little bit of weight this weekend, then put a little bit back on..but basically, she needs to beef up because what's in store for her is better than pizza! A crib! She will finally be paroled from her lucite box and into a big girl bed. All she has to do is keep her temperature up, which she's pretty good at...and keep gaining weight. She will be a little past 32 weeks this Wednesday on her 7 week birthday...which also means she can have a little more light on her too.

She's still having a blood sugar issue, up and down...so now they're feeding her over an hour and a half. I'm still curious about this "human milk fortifier"...especially since it has corn syrup solids in it. I know she needs the extra calories...but why corn syrup? Isn't sugar "empty calories"...can't they squeeze some avocado in there or something?!!! Maybe I need to eat more bacon...

I'm definitely in need of some bacon after today...I painted scenery from 8 am until 4:30...that's almost a real work day! I haven't gotten to see my Peanut at all...I'm having Peanut withdrawal symptoms. Tomorrow I carve rocks out of foam...this is the only kind of rock you can float across a lake on! Two more days of scenic art and I'll be back to my 7 hour Peanut sittings. I can't wait!

More Holding

"Daddy Tiiiiiiime! Tummy Tiiiiiiiime! Last night was daddy's turn! (Madeleine's Mom doesn't wear plaid or stripes!)

Madeleine's window is *mildly* decorated...if I didn't have 10 other projects going on right now it would probably be solid cards and pictures. Some parents in the NICU go wild filling the bedspace with stuffed animals, balloons, pictures...it's mostly soothing to the parents, which they need very much! I think a lot of us feel responsible and guilty for the fact that our babies are sick or having issues, and we want to give them everything under the sun. For us, it's everything above the sun that we want to give Madeleine, and I'm not talking about space trash! (I'm not sure where that last bit came from.)


Nothing major to report today. Peanut had a little blood sugar flux, and they're feeding her over an hour's time. Some nurses were already doing that, but some were feeding over 30 minutes. To keep her blood sugar steady and to keep her from having hills and valleys, they're all feeding her over an hour's time now. Her breath rate is down to 35 on the vent now...and she seems fine with it all so far. Tomorrow (later today rather) is Monday...so that will be when they'll decide on some "moves" for Peanut...the weekends are for cruising. :)

Mommy got to hold Peanut tonight, she did great with it. She was instantly asleep as soon as she landed on me and stayed that way for over an hour as she got her 11 pm feeding. She did reach up and grab my chin...(picture to follow later!)...I had to fight the urge to go "nom nom nom" on her little fingers! She also poked herself in the cheek with her own thumb and made a cry face...and a second later was back asleep! What a funny girl. When her nurse friend returned her to her bed, she never really woke up...still sleeping like a log! She likes tummy time the best while on mommy! (On Daddy too, of course, but tonight was my turn!)

Pint-sized Peanut

"I, Madeleine Rose, solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth...this shirt fits me. OH NOES! I already lied!! Mr. McBearenstein told me to say it!!"

This shirt, as I held it up, looked so tiny, I thought for SURE it would fit her. Nope, it goes all the way down to her ankles! But, it has ruffled sleeves and sorta looks like a little white dress. Seriously, it will make you go..."Oooh!! So cute!!"

Madeleine has "graduated" into the next size up of diapers....she's proved through multiple sessions of peeing past her diapers' capacity and onto the sheets below that she requires a higher level of absorption! Of course, they're big on her like everything thing else these days...but a bed change every 3 hours is not optimal. I'm sure Peanut just wants to see just how many cute beds her nurse friends can throw together for her....she loves all the fun colors and can't resist! "Hmm...I'm tired of these sheets with the bunnies on them, what else have ya got?!"

Peanut hasn't had many changes lately. No big ones rather. They've been weaning her vent slowly. Last night they dropped the breath rate from 40 to 37 to make her start breathing on her own a little more. She's been doing it unless she's totally zonked out...then she lets the vent do all the work. Get it while you can, girl. We'll do anything for Peanut, but you have to breathe on your own! Hopefully she will tolerate it and take these little steps toward "tube freedom". I'm not sure what she'll do with her hands once Mr. Tube is gone? But once it is gone...we'll hear her make noise...that will be really wild! It's been easier on *me* to not hear her crying through all the things she has deal with every day. It's hard enough seeing her make the "cry face".

Auntie Shannon is coming over today to scrape wallpaper, Peanut! Here's the colors we'll some day paint it...hope you like them! (If not, you know mommy will just repaint it!)

Ishop4Pnut

Peanut is having those "boring days" that everyone told us to hope for. She's just eating, growing and taking her baby steps toward wellness. She's just started getting an iron supplement, still at 27 ml of fortified breast milk every 3 hours and still on hydrocortisone and a medication to help her liver. They are slowly weaning her vent down...just by 2-3 at a time. The nurse practitioner came by today and told me they were weaning it slowly and Shhhh...don't tell her! Meaning, if the "willful child" (as they called her the day she was born) knew...she'd act up...so let's be sneaky about it and she'll do fine! So far, so good

The other event for the day was...finding Peanut clothes! "Shopping is fun again!" Whose catch phrase is that...Old Navy? Funny...I hit 3 stores today in pursuit of tiny duds for my petite Peanut...and Old Navy was the only one that wasn't fun! It smells strongly of plastics in there...probably the wall of cheap flip-flops! Their clothes were expensive...I did better at Marshall's and Walmart! One of Madeleine's nurse friends told me about a onesie there that said "Half Pint Peanut" with an elephant on it...I snagged it! $2.50. Found this place online tonight, Sweet Peanut...they have a preemie shop!

I've found that shopping for myself is even less interesting than it was before...it's much more fun to buy stuff for Madeleine...and that I did. I spent $50 (thanks Mom!) and got her a ton of preemie clothes and a very soft blankie which we snuggled together in tonight!!!

Weight - 3 lbs. 4 oz

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Madeleine and daddy are celebrating birthdays today! Late last night, we went to have a short visit with Peanut and had planned to come home and get some serious sleep. Tim worked hard all day and I have just been running here and there for 2 days...and we're just...tired. BUT...plans change. Madeleine decided that she wanted her daddy to hold her, and that's just what happened. The best birthday present a girl can give her daddy!

More cool things happened tonight too...she got a different isolette. Not only a CLEAN one...but a bigger one because she graduated out of the ELBW bed! (Extremely Low Birth Weight) Madeleine's nurse informed us that Peanut can wear clothes now...do you hear the trumpets sounding? Let the shopping...BEGIN!!! I've been holding off on buying her clothes because I didn't want to get things she'll outgrow before she even wears them?! And she's been given some outfits already, but those are bigger and she'll have to wait until she "busts out" to show those off. We can also take blankets in for her too if we want...our stuff, our smells...our all-natural dye and perfume free detergent!!! Even though whatever they use at the hospital smells really nice...because it has no "scent".

Life is good with miraculous Madeleine.

"The eyes *don't* have it"

Little Peanut is shaking her fist at me wanting to know why I haven't worked on her room yet?! She's warning me that if I don't get to it...she'll be home before I know it and her room will be u-g-l-y. I've picked the colors, Peanut...but I'm a long way from painting.

Madeleine had a slight dip last night...she was just "unhappy" and was desatting...her blood gas came back with the co2 in the 70's again so they gave her a bump on her vent...she was back up to high 50's on her oxygen again...and they said her right lung was just collapsed a little bit. The doctor that's on the next few weeks is one of our favorites so far, and she wasn't worried about it being something that won't work itself out. She's been right on about everything so far, so it gave me peace of mind to hear her opinion. She said that she is very happy with how Madeleine has been progressing and given this doc's' skill at seeing the big picture, that was nice to hear.

Peanut had that eye exam today...as previously stated, I was not looking. In fact, I think she got it about the time I was making jewelry with the girls this morning. The results were that her eyes are "premature" which is normal right now, and so far, she doesn't have the eye disease yet that preemies are prone to which causes blindness. She said that if she'll get it, it will be in the first 3 weeks of checking. 2 weeks to go Peanut! She (opthamologist) said that she's got pupils now...those cells are there, and next her iris will form? And her eyes won't be "mature" until 2 week after she was to be born...so in July.

Other than that...Peanut has been swaddled and sleeping...and yawning!!! (It looks like she's yelling and clapping her hands, but she really was just yawning...)


ps...Madeleine peed on me today during a diaper change...isn't that fascinating?!

The little things

Look at this awesome blanket Madeleine's Gma Forbes made for her...it has a matching hat, jacket and booties! She LOVES it...

Today was all about those little things. Baby steps. These days...I appreciate smaller things. Even big changes that are good can be a drain. Here are all the little changes that happened today that even though they are small baby steps in the right direction...still feel gigantic to me. It seems that my sense of proportion has been off ever since Madeleine arrived in our lives.

First, Peanut and Mr. Nitric Oxide have called it quits! He's still waiting by the bedside in case they need to hook up and "have words"...but their relationship has been called off and they probably won't be getting back together! She's tolerating this quite well since she was on her back this afternoon (her least favorite position) and was on about 43% oxygen. When I got to the NICU, she was on 39%...her lowest ever. Next, she has no more skin temperature probe...the little wire that was held on with those fabulously shiny gold hearts? Her weight and growth was appropriate for her to not have to have that anymore. So far, she's holding her temp well.

Another change...they tried swaddling her, and she LOVED it. She's wrapped up like a Peanut burrito now. She's so relaxed, sleeping like a baby! She's also up to 27 ml of milk and loving every drop. The head ultrasound they did this morning showed no change...her ventricles were still the same size, and the clot from her previous bleed was "evolving"...breaking up slowly and being reabsorbed. They'll watch her head circumference to make sure she doesn't get excess fluid, but so far, it's grown normally. There's talk of weaning her hydrocortisone too...and even the rate on her vent...not the pressure, she doesn't like that...but just the breath rate. They also haven't had to transfuse her lately, so she lost her "unicorn" IV in her forehead!

So that's pretty much it for now! A lot of little things. The 5th/6th grade girls and I made jewelry this morning. We had a good time and only dropped two containers of beads! I'm going back tomorrow for an hour to finish up and get them to draw peanuts for Madeleine's 6 week birthday. Grow, baby grow.

Yeah...

Still high on the babe!

Holding that babe was such a high for me...it took me a while to fall asleep last night. I kept having to tell myself to stop thinking about it, and go to bed! 6:30 came early this morning, but I was still buzzed on Madeleine...still needed that soy chai though! On a sad note, I got a lovely latte this morning and promptly knocked the entire thing off the dining room table onto the hardwood floors...(Sadie got a little). Maybe that's God's way of telling me not to consume too much caffeine!

Peanut is doing very well...she's still doing that crazy bounce from one end of her oxygenation levels to the other...I'm going to ask about that one tomorrow. She was down to 43% on her oxygen when we left the NICU this afternoon...it's the lowest yet. She's at 25 ml of milk every 3 hours, and now Tim has witnessed what I experienced a few days back with the "you know what"...starts with a P and ends with a P, with double O's in the middle! I sorta promised my cousin Alex that I wouldn't post any more of those pictures...! But, she did it again...I'm not sure why she waits for the diaper to be OFF to do that? Oh, freedom...

Tomorrow morning I'm going to do jewelry making with the 5th/6th grade girls at the academy I taught at last year...thank God Madeleine is doing so well and I can feel ok about leaving her for some time to do things like this...if they get done early with jewels, I may move right on to drawing class! A card for Madeleine? I'll teach them to draw PEANUTS!!!

Together AT LAST!

The moment we've been waiting for...the first holding...look at that zonked out babe! She loved it...probably a moment she'll never remember and one we'll never forget.
Kangaroo care was incredible. I just sat in the chair and they unhooked all of her lines, even the vent! She had to breath on her own for about 8 seconds while they got the tubes out of the isolette. They placed her on me and covered her with warm blankets. She did really well with it all...and I got almost an hour to hold her. She was very relaxed and slept most of the time, but she started to wiggle around a little toward the end since her diaper was wet. It was either that or us lifting the blanket to peek at her face and take pictures! Before we got her out...she was bouncing all over sat-wise...hi, low, hi, low...afterwards...she was still going up and down but staying in her range and not making her monitor alarm every 2 minutes.
It was great therapy, just what we all needed. Tomorrow if she's still doing really well, she'll get "Koala care".....daddy time! What an awesome day...Deo gratias!